C.J.: Let me explain something to you. This is sort of my field. The people on these sites? They’re the cast of One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The muu-muu-wearing Parliament smoker? That’s Nurse Ratched. When Nurse Ratched is unhappy, the patients are unhappy. You? You’re McMurphy. You swoop in with your card games and fishing trips…I’m Chief Bromden, yes, at this particular moment. I’m assigning an intern from the press office to that website. They’re going to check it every night before they go home. If they discover you’ve been there I’m going to shove a motherboard so far up your ass.
When he says he loves running
When I learn that the MH17 black boxes are sent to the Russians for analysis
- Sam: So guys, when I was downstairs I made a decision: I'm going to register with the Republican Party. And I'll tell you why, if you're curious. It's because they're a freedom-loving people.
- Ainsley: We also like beef.
And you got to ask yourself, if no one on the Internet wants a piece of this, just how far from the pack have you strayed?
People Against Rape Culture is a non-profit on a mission to change the conversation around rape culture through education, advocacy and collaboration.
California is the one state that has everything: big cities, small towns, mountains, deserts, farms, factories, fishermen, surfers, all races, all religions, gay, straight, everything this country has. there’s more real america in California than anywhere else.
And We Will Call Her “Business Week”
Originally posted on SexReally
About two years ago I started getting text messages from Hippie Chick that said, “Knock, knock… .(insert name of person from high school you haven’t thought about for years).” I think this is one of the best introductions ever. Class Act and I have taken it upon ourselves to expand the game to include all types of things: Places, movie stars, inanimate objects. For example, “Knock, knock… Sizzler,” or “Knock, Knock Andrew Keegan.” Because when was the last time you saw a Sizzler or Andrew Keegan?!
Why on earth am I telling you this? Because there is no set-up to this story besides “Knock, Knock… Business Week.”
When I was a sophomore in college Engineer Boy asked me out on a date. He was quiet and didn’t talk to me very often. To be completely honest I wasn’t really interested in him. But adhering to a strict “If a boy has the chutzpa to ask you out- and isn’t a totally creeper- you should go” code, I went out with him. Why? Because you don’t really know if you will like a person until you go on a date with him or her and you should give people a chance.
Our first date wasn’t anything too fancy, dinner and a walk on the beach. He was nice but my attraction level was hovering at lukewarm. I mean you don’t have to love someone on the first date but you should at least want to make out with them, or listen to their stories, or generally be around them. There was nothing.
So at the end of the date, when Engineer Boy said “I would really like to start dating you,” I should have said “Thank you so much for taking me out. I had a nice time but I just don’t think this will work.” That is what 27-year-old Stefanie would have done. However, 19-year-old Stefanie thought “I’m not really into you… but what is the worst that could happen?” So I said, “Sure.” We will refer to this as asshole move #1.
So we went out again the next night. Same deal as the night before, dinner and a walk on the beach. By the end of this date I knew two things. One: I didn’t want to date him. Two: he really wanted to date me. So instead of being honest I lied and told him I would see him tomorrow and then avoided him like the plague the next two days. I didn’t go so far as to ignore his calls, but I did suddenly become very busy. We will refer to this as asshole move #2.
I finally agreed to meet him for lunch. He had barely sat down when I blurted, “I don’t think this is going to work.” He was obviously confused. I mean he hadn’t done anything wrong, and I was the one who kept going out with him. I left as quickly as humanly possible and went to meet up with my friend Soccer Guy.
Me: “I broke it off with Engineer Boy.”
Soccer Guy: “What? You’ve been dating for 5 days. You couldn’t last longer than a business week?”
Me: “Well…I…No. I couldn’t last more than 5 days.”
Soccer Guy: “Business Week. Your new nickname is Business Week.”
Me: “What’s the big deal? It was only 5 days, he can’t be that hurt.”
Soccer Guy: “Uh, he has liked you for 2 years. Like really liked you.”
Soccer Guy: “What do you mean ‘what’? He finally got the nerve to ask you on a date, you lead him on, and dump him after 5 days. You’re probably not his favorite person.” We will refer to this as my third and final asshole move.
Me: “Why didn’t you tell me! He probably thinks I’m a giant asshole.”
Soccer Guy: “I thought you knew.”
In all honestly I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. For some reason I thought that if I kept hanging out with him I would suddenly like him. Not so much. So what have we learned? If a boy asks you on a date, go. But if you don’t actually like him, you probably shouldn’t go out with him again.
These are just the things I learned in college.
"It occurred to me today that - that we need to talk about our last wishes."
"No, we don’t!"
"I want to be buried at sea"